Ruth Update 8-11-2014

Hi everyone,

Our dear sweet adorable Ruth passed away this morning at 4:32.

We are all very fortunate to have had time with Ruth. She helped everyone who knew her love more sweetly.

If you have stories about Ruth that you would like to share and have posted on, please email Let us know if you would like your name referenced with your story.

Thanks to all of you for your tremendous outpouring of love and support.


8 thoughts on “Ruth Update 8-11-2014

  1. Dear Brian,
    I have never met you,but I know you must be a special special person to have married Ruth and shared this sacred journey with her. My heart goes out to you and you both will remain in my heart and in my daily prayers. I lost my beloved husband ,who meant everything in this world to me ,in 2006. Ruth helped me through this sacred time. My husband remains forever in my heart and our marriage is deeper and more a reality than ever before. I know you will find this with Ruth in your own heart,now and for all time. Please use my entry I left on the August 7th update for your story collection. I am honored to share my story and please use my name. Do let me know how to access all the stories…on this site ? I send you all my love and prayers, Susan Raja-Rao
    PS Let me know if you can use my story directly from this site,or if I need to do anything else.

  2. It has not escaped me that you passed as the super moon was waning. Of course you did. Just another (countless) reflection of your magic and presence. I love you always, my sweet friend and teacher.

  3. Dear Brian,

    I am Marilyn Mitchell’s cousin, Ted. I send you love and support for the many situations and various emotions you may be experiencing in response to Ruth’s passing. From what I know of her, she seems like she was an extraordinary and rare human being. I feel relieved for her that her struggle is over. I feel sad that she is gone from us physically.
    May you receive love comfort and support from those who knew and loved her as well as from those of us who know and love you.
    Ted Gilliland

  4. “Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” Eskimo Proverb

    I know Ruth is among the stars.

    Love, Keira

  5. Oh Dear Sweet Ruth,
    I miss you daily and deeply. It is your birthday month. Everyday, I see a butterfly. Thank you for the messengers. I love you more

  6. I know it has been over four years. I am proud and thankful that Ruth is with me every day. On 8-11-14 I received news of Ruthie’s transition four minutes before I was to be on stage at the Boulder Dinner Theater. Fortunately, I have had a lot of experience and practice and, as an old performer, the show must go on. Of course, I could also imagine what Ruth would be coaching me to do.
    I delivered the best presentation in memory. I have yet, in a thousand shows, been able to be as effective as I was that day.
    I call Ruth my best friend. This may cause people to question the validity of that statement, well I know, at least, that Mom Barnett “gets it”.
    Ruth and I became very close when we were 16. That early bond was never broken. Over the years there were long spans of time that we were not in touch, but that never mattered. It became a fascinating fact that when I told stories about Ruth I would surely run into her within 48 hours. That was wonderful magic that I never abused but certainly tested (even when she lived in Austin and I in Denver).
    We had many adventures together (and some stories I will even take to my own grave). But one thing is for certain. Most people think of “best friends” being constant companions, surviving fights, being in otherwise uninterrupted contact… We didn’t need any of that.
    By my best friend, I mean that Ruth was the best friend I have ever had in my life. I have always made certain that everyone else in my life has been aware of this treasure. I could have asked Ruth for anything and she knew she could have asked me for anything. In thirty years, we never asked the other for a thing, save for a bit of time, now and then. Those moments were cherished in the very instant they happened.
    In the last (formally orchestrated and curated) moments I got to spend with Ruth she apologized to me. This was because I told her to write about her experience because I knew she would have valuable insights about her experience with medical and experimental and alternative and spiritual and psychological reconciliation and treatments. Well, the truth is, she certainly did have all of those important experiences, but she didn’t write as much about them and she said she was sorry about that.
    Much earlier, of course, Ruth cried to me when she told me about being diagnosed. I could immediately tell that Ruth had already been sorting out her own feelings about this and that her tears, in that moment, were for me. Ruth was sad for me because she knew me well enough to know how I would react to the news.
    That was a long afternoon, in a coffee shop, ending with me making her promise to write about things. I wanted her to write for the catharsis of the ritual of writing, and she knew this, but it was all discussed like it was some kind of assignment with some mysterious financial reward attached, and a legacy of some sort.
    Instead, Ruth found her importance in the rich relationships she cultivated over the years and it was much more valuable to her to enjoy and enrich those than to write for strangers. I appreciated that about her. I am glad and relieved that I had the opportunity to tell her.
    I told Ruth that it was silly for her to apologize to me for not having written more. I told her that she spent her time being rich in love, which was a bigger, much more important lesson for fewer but more important people. What I hope is that every one of us to whom she gave that gift shares it as broadly as possible.
    I love Ruth. She was my best-ever friend.

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